everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
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Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
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And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
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