Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
