was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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