and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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