capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
