not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
