if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point đź’ś
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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