my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
