You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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