You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
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