i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
