you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Randomize
