I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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