im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
