U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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