its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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