cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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