Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
