I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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