thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
