my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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