So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
