Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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