____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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