Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i will never coherently bang her
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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