my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
