True but thats because hes a fetus.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
