Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
