Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
