yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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