I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
