would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
