Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
