Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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