no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
