I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
