Already got asked if we're dating
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
