I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
