We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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