your parents love me but you hate me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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