Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
