I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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