He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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