update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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