You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize