this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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