kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
