You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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