did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
