i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
