dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
