So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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