Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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