I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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