Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Sober January is a disaster.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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