Ambien. No doubt about it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
