So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
