That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
