So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
