i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
