so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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