ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
