just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
