All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
