I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
