there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
